what next? is this it? Is there nothing more? am i supposed to follow the routine life cycle? find a job, start a family...? how cliche is that? What mark will i leave on the world? There has to be more to life than this. It is not easy to be told to give up on your dreams. That, "You're so young and naive, you'll start to see things clearly when life starts slapping you in the face." It is frustrating because i can not decide which is worse, getting slapped in the face by someone who cares, or rolling the dice and hoping that life doesn't stick its studded boot up my inexperienced rectum. I can't help but tell myself that no matter how hard i try, there will always be someone trying harder.
is it naive to say that i would rather be fighting for a cause? what if i acknowledge that no matter how hard we fight, we're always going to come up short? it's just that everything is so out of our control that it's scary. There's only so much we can do to help others, and it is almost inevitable that we come up short. times like this i feel like the best life to live is that of a soldier, fighting to protect others. but isn't the protection of some, the doom of others? is life so trivial that it is to be thrown away for something as ludicrous as a conflict of opinions? Who are we to pick up a weapon and decide who dies? Are we not the ones that our enemies are protecting their families from? The same enemies we made under the excuse of protection our own? Still, I believe the life of the soldier is the one to live. Sever all connections u ever made, and fight for peace. Yes, ironically enough, there has to be conflict before there can be peace. The same thing goes to peace of mind i guess. Regretfully, its hard to tell how long internal conflict will as it is to tell for actual violent conflict. How do u even make the right choice. What is a right choice, really? Sparing some one's life so they could kill countless others? Wrong choice? Is killing them the right one? What if someone were to join the army for the sake of protecting his fellow soldiers? Do my country men deserve my protection more than the people they're after?
As far as I'm concerned, death is peace of mind, and so it is welcome. I don't fear it. I believe it's all we truly have to live for.
2 comments:
The mark you leave is up to you,it could be a clear and focused mark, it could be a broad underlying feeling, or it could be adding more confusion to the world, which one would you choose?
that answers one question...
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